Poem Concepts

Here I will post the poem concepts that come to me so i do not forget them.

1) Release

2) The North

3) Morning

you iii

who can lie anymore?

no one gave me what you gave me
no one ever did

my hand is on your ivory neck
you're under me

in your graceful self
my strength is rekindled - you're a fountain

only a liar struts

a man who holds a treasure like you
can't boast of it - should quietly nourish it

the last train left the station with you standing there
atthe back window in the last car

what was i doing while it left
i had the ticket in my pocket - the trip was going to be

the greatest adventure of my life

now i hear the whistle from down a mist filled valley
that train is gone

i fondle the ticket in my coat

and my body disappears into the afternoon grey
cold, mist - i'm disappearing into a dream

at night behind the shutters of my eyes
i turn with you and will forever

Saturday 11/11 -

Now my work is coming from a different, less philosophical place inside me. I have several people or practices to thank for this increase in sincerity. My two children are two golden Suns shining inside me, tempting me back to the world and life. Also Aikido ; the practice of martial arts is a road to the opening of energy long held by fears. Meditation and the guidance of a teacher in two traditions are also essential. Finally - the delayed effect of my love for the one I thought had been left behind, JNw. I say delayed effect because I am a man who held in his hands the most precious jewel, and casually tossed it away. Only when another had picked it up from the refuse heap of my insanity, did I see it flashing in brilliance, know it for what it was, and drop to my knees in remorse, in respect, in recognition. Inside her delicate frame is a heart prouder than any I've known or loved, a soul burning, and blazing passion. I bow in respect to my greatest teacher in love - broken by the recognition of what I lost, what i couldn't hold. I will write to her, about her, for her, until I sob out the last desperate gasp of longing for her. I can't say how long that will be. No one knows.

you II

you are the unseen presence on the street

i held you in the hospital while you moaned for succor

your eyes are burning through me

the tip of your cigarette is visible on the stoop
in darkness

i burned you - i hurt you - i cut you and made you bleed

i tied you, i beat you, i choked you

you allowed me

i have been made a fool

my heart lagged behind my desire

when desire had finished its meal and walked off in trembling

the heart arrived - but you had already withdrawn

you withdrew into the shadow

it's as though the images of the love you gave

came through a million light years from my genitals and my hands

arriving where they belonged after centuries

so when i now come walking around and am humbled

my hands don't find you anymore

no one ever fucked me like you fucked me

when you lay in the bed waiting for me at the end of the day

and i thought i brought you from hell with me hand in hand

but who really was carrying whom?

little pippi - my daughter - my child - you are burning in me

as though i swallowed something made of flame

i long to see you in the street - i quiver to see you

who made me this way that the dark shadow could pass over my face

when all the while you held the orb of sunshine

who brought me out of clay and gave me breath that i could cut my own sister/daughter to ribbons

only to find - after

she was the one for me

she the only who could put her fingers around all of me

Falling

Sigh down into a pile of leaves and let their golden arms cover you
Fall backward onto a mattress with your tangled love
release everything over the edge of the cliff and the pile behind
will be thought a suicide - disappear into fluid

Breathe out - breathe out - there is no lack even in hunger
when you learn how to dine in obscure corners
unknown friends come and smile at you
in places that no one has been before

my Brother is just around the corner
I sense him next to me, or through plexiglass
or on the other side of a Door
can you see the light streaming through the cracks

nothing to clutch, no air whistling past
just descending - expecting impact
when only earth that forever sustains
this fleeting theatre is rising to meet me - a soft landing

My Son

Yes, in the inbreath I can feel
That there's a child somewhere
I see him turning his head
He's there watching me now

He met me in my dreams
And holds out his hands
They bear a red and wet Heart
And he holds it out - to you

He's offering it to you
He's offering it to you
All.

This heart is still beating
It's been in cold wind
But colder still
Are the shrouds of illusion

I've wrapped it in for too too long.
I'm so broken.
I'm so hobbling.
I'm so cut down.

The child longs for you.
He looks at all the words, all the pictures
And he allows them all to pass
He's waiting for something
He knows it

He knows what it is -
But do you and I?

Mansions

I - Town

There is One town I have been in
One town Only
You've only made One town
I'm lost in the streets

There is One force patrolling town
There is One group of merchants
One bank, One church
One river, One School

There is One park
Where leaves are currently falling
Cut down, as Yagyu tells us
By the judgement of Nature

Why do I so love these empty streets
That have only yielded a $5 bill
When I bent down
As though it too had fluttered

From heaven like a leaf
Of Gold?

II - Mansions

In this corner under this curving lamp
Around this green Way
I also was doubly lost
In the corridors of a Mansion

Of which there are Many
I told myself there was a Heart
Somewhere in there, in those cold walls
A golden Heart that I could

Place in my chest and skip out
The red hewn Doors with their close
Inscriptions. This luxury is Hell.
I still believe that by walking through its antisepsis

There will be a stone step into repeating
Corridors that stretch
Toward the Limit of things
And I will be forever Free.