44

Standing by the stream
Looking back, seeing colored images
Looking forward, seeing darkness

Standing by the stream

Rest

I will lie down
And I will give up

Nothing will remain
Of anything

That once guarded my heart
And then all that will be left

Will be my body
And my love for you

Beneath all of it
Is my love for you

Which never ends

Knowledge

As I write
I can hear you panting

He's fucking you tonight

I cannot see his face
Darkness covers his face

He's fucking you now

Where once I was
Now he is

Now he is

That which I once held
Now he does

Now he does

Goodbye (draft)

First I have to stop crying
That will take some time

Then I must stand up
And walk down the stairs

There I will stand
In the air of the morning

As the sun comes up
For another day, the Sun

Will shine on me

-------------

Red haired angel
You came to cut me in two

You came to break me completely

And you did succeed

Change (rough draft)

In the upstairs room with those floorboards
An ancient farm
You opened slim arms to me

At the seaside
Surf roaring in our ears
You were beneath me

For hours you called
For me, and I for you
In the tangle of your bed

We walked by glittering streams

Not using any words to speak

I sat next to you
At the dinner
Surrounded by family

In a dress that evening
You were the body of Joy
Love shines in that body

But life changes.

Today I came down the side street and I saw
A man depositing you from your own car, and
You ran, seeing me

You ran around the corner
Thinking - I will not see you

But I saw you turn that corner
I saw him stop for you again
The two of you drove away

In this world I taste bitterness

I knew not what to do
So I overturned the teacup
Let it pour on the street, watched it pour

Tonight, with the gun on the table

I invent a story

This is it :

In the sunlit clouds of Heaven
I will once again hold Your hand

It's true in one way
And in another way

We both know it isn't

Branded

Tatoo it on my left chest over my heart
And engrave it on the hilt of the sword I am carrying
Cover it over the flag on my grave
And make it the name of every poem that I write

This is a tepid age
Someone cut away G-d, or so they thought
And left us trading commodities - trading
Commodities in the setting sun

But guess what?
She's no commodity

And love is no commodity

Morning II (draft)

Waking
Sitting up, and sitting on the edge of the bed
Showering, putting clothes on

One man is strapping armor on
And shouldering weapons
Putting rounds in a chamber, one by one

Another is standing beside a tractor
In the light of the early sun
Preparing for a full harvest

The third, at his doorway
Scans the clouds for signs
Of a rainstorm, in the deepening grey

Step out of the doorway now
Feel the wind on your face
See rows of homes, see the twisting trees

And make your way forward

Morning

The mentally ill are shuffling out
There's the woman who carries fruit boxes in a wire roller
Her long wool coat drags the ground - unpaid streetsweeper

See that guy hustling across the street
Wearing unlaced black ski boots
He yelled at a motorist last week in the same spot

Here comes what's her name in trench coat
With a crate
Of used romance books well thumbed

Down at the bus station they're ranged out
Over benches and standing by the plate glass
Pondering G-d knows what anyway

And lastly, see the fat guy in the gazebo?
He said his last suicide attempt failed
Now he sits in the gazebo next to his wheeled suitcase

All day long

Not going anywhere anytime